Today Monday April 16th,2018 was my Gigi’s funeral. We got up early this morning to drive down to swainsboro, GA to go to the church and cemetery where she was going to be buried. I knew today was going to here hard but didn’t know it was going to be that hard. Well a few days ago my grandmother asked if I wanted to speak at Gigi’s service and I said I would have to think about it. Well the other night around 2 am, I woke up randomly and words just started coming out of my mouth. I felt like God was telling me exactly what i needed to say at the service. Well I didn’t write any of it down at 2am, so yesterday I sat down and wrote the whole thing out. I started crying just writing it and thought to myself how in the world am I suppose to get through this tomorrow. Well I talked to my grandmother, Mom and aunt and they were all hesitant for me to read it just because it was long and they knew it would hard to read standing in front of Gigi. We got to the cemetery today and I went out earlier than others from the church were people were meeting to the gravesite. Man, I haven’t cried so hard ever, but even with the crying and sobbing I knew that Jesus was right there with us crying too. So the service started and it was amazing. The preacher spoke and some of Gigi’s closest friends spoke of her so beyond highly. Well my papa was up next and seeing him so vulnerable and sadden was just such an indicator of Gigi’s impact on everyone. My aunt read a sweet poem to Gigi and then it was my decision to go or not. I told my mom earlier I couldn’t just do to the fact that crying and talking don’t go well together. So I knew that I needed to read what God had put on my heart so here it is:
“Hi, I’m Lindsey Lawton, Gigi’s oldest great-granddaughter. I just wanted to take a minute to appreciate the impact Gigi had on my life, and everyone’s here. Recently, I had to go through my mom’s computer to find homework for a class and came across a poem I had written about my Gigi when I was just 10 years old. My 10 year old self described Gigi perfectly: It was called Gigi. My great grandmother Gigi is my best friend. She is always there for me. Loving, caring, that’s the way she is. Fishing, reading, painting, and sewing. She loves to do those types of things. And she loves me very much. Isn’t that perfect, and isn’t that what we all know Gigi for. She is everyone’s best friend. She will forever have an impact on my life and my heart. I know this is a strange thing to say at a graveside service, but I want to tell you all about the day Gigi met Jesus in my perspective. When I woke up that morning after I had found out, I looked at my YouVersion App which is just a bible app and the verse of the day was John 11:25-26: Jesus told her, “ I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying. Everyone who lives in me and believes in me will never, ever die. Do you believe this, Martha?” Well, that right there gave me some peace, but I was still pretty frustrated with God taking my best friend, my great grandmother, my Gigi. I got up, went to church to lead my middle school group, and the series was named Death Was Arrested. Wow, God’s timing. My co-leader wasn’t there that Sunday, so I had no other choice but to lead these girls about this topic. The preacher was talking about the story of Lazareth. I’ve heard that story so many times in church, but wait wasn’t the verse of the day about the same thing. I started really listening to the service, and the preacher continue to tell the story of how Jesus knew exactly what was going to happen to Lazareth, but He still wept with Mary and Martha. He had compassion for the people because He saw how much they hurt. Something that really stuck out to me in that service was that every time Jesus addressed death, He said Lazareth fell asleep. Over and over he spoke of death in that way. Fell asleep. Then I started thing about Gigi. Jesus is right here weeping with us, but Gigi is just asleep. She is right up there with Jesus, and I know that one day I will see her again. God has perfect timing. He planned the whole thing. Gigi, thank you for your everlasting impact on my heart, and especially leading me to Jesus by reading the Bible together. We will most definitely miss her everyday, but I know that I will see her again one day. Lastly, Gigi gave me the book called I’ll love you forever when I was maybe 5 years old. For so many years, she read that book to me as we went to sleep at night. When she was in the hospital, I had the opportunity to read her the book one last time here on earth. She loved the song. It sang: I’ll love you forever. I’ll like you for always. As long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be. Well I changed it that day a little bit… I’ll love you forever. I’ll like you for always. As long as I’m living, my Gigi you’ll be. Love your favorite great granddaughter named Lindsey” With tears in my eyes and sadden heart, I am hopeful that she is just asleep and that I will see her again soon. Today has been in of the toughest days because it’s a realization that I will never see her again on this earth, but I got to spend 18 years with her. With the sweetest, most loving woman on earth. She will be missed so beyond dearly but I know that she is up there partying with Jesus.
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Lindsey LawtonJust a college freshman trying to figure life out Archives
January 2019
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